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Board Gags






Homer's Mmmm...

Revenge List



Season 1
7G02 - I will not waste chalk
7G03 - I will not skateboard in the halls
7G04 - I will not burp in class
7G06 - I will not instaigate revolution
7G09 - I will not draw naked ladies in class
7G07 - I did not see Elvis
7G10 - I will not call my teacher "hot cakes"
7G13 - Garlic gum is not funny
7G12 - They are laughing at me, not with me
7G01 - I will not yell "fire!" in a crowded classroom

Season 2
7F03 - I will not encourage others to fly
7F02 - Tar is not a plaything
7F01 - I will not Xerox my butt
7F05 - I will not trade pants with others
7F08 - I am not a 32-year-old woman
7F07 - I will not do that thing with my tongue
7F06 - I will not drive the principal's car
7F09 - I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
7F10 - I will not sell school property
7F11 - I will not cut corners
7F12 - I will not get very far with this attitude
7F13 - I will not make flatulent noises in class
7F15 - I will not belch the National Anthem
7F16 - I will not sell land in Florida
7F18 - I will not hide behind the 5th Amendment
7F20 - I will not do anything bad ever again
7F21 - I will not show off
7F22 - I will not sleep through my education

Season 3
7F24 - I am not a dentist
8F01 - Spitwads are not free speech
7F23 - Nobody likes sunburn slappers
8F03 - High explosives and school don't mix
8F04 - I will not squeak chalk
8F05 - I will finish what I sta
8F06 - "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender
8F08 - Underwear should be worn on the inside
8F09 - The Christmas pageant does not stink
8F10 - I will not torment the emotionally frail
8F11 - I will not carve gods
8F14 - I will not spank others
8F13 - I will not aim for the head
8F15 - I will not barf unless I'm sick
8F17 - I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
8F19 - I will not conduct my own fire drills
8F20 - Funny noises are not funny
8F21 - I will not spin the turtle
8F22 - I will not snap bras
8F23 - I will not fake seizures

Season 4
8F24 - This punishment is not boring and pointless
8F18 - My name is not Dr. Death
9F01 - I will not defame New Orleans
9F03 - I will not bury the new kid
9F05 - I will not teach others to fly
9F06 - I will not bring sheep to class
9F07 - A burp is not an answer
9F08 - Teacher is not a leper
9F09 - Coffee is not a drink for kids
9F10 - I will not eat things for money
9F11 - I will not yell "she's dead" during roll call
9F12 - The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
9F13 - I will not call the principal "spud head"
9F14 - Goldfish don't bounce
9F15 - Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
9F17 - No one is interested in my underpants
9F16 - I will not sell miracle cures
9F18 - I will return the seeing eye dog
9F19 - I will not charge admission to the bathroom

Season 5
9F21 - I will never win an Emmy
9F22 - The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
1F07 - All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
1F08 - I will not say Springfield just to get applause
1F09 - I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
1F11 - My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
1F10 - I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
1F14 - I am not delightfully saucy
1F15 - Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
1F16 - The pledge of allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan!"
1F18 - I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
1F19 - There are plenty of businesses like show business
1F21 - I will not retransmit without the express written permission of Major League Baseball
1F20 - 5 days is too long to wait for a gun

Season 6
1F22 - Beans are neither fruit nor musical
2F33 - I will not use abbrev.
2F01 - I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
2F04 - I will not send lard through the mail
2F05 - I will not dissect things unless instructed
2F06 - I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
2F08 - Ralph won't morph if you squeeze him hard enough
2F09 - Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal
2F10 - Bagman is not a legitimate career choice
2F11 - Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
2F12 - Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
2F13 - I will not hang donuts on my person
2F14 - I will remember to take my medication
2F15 - I will not strut around like I own the place
2F18 - The good humor man can only be pushed so far
2F19 - I do not have power of attorney over first graders
2F32 - Nerve gas is not a toy
2F21 - I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
2F22 - The First Amendment does not cover burping
2F16 - This is not a clue or is it?

Season 7
2F20 - I will not complain about the solution when I hear it
2F17 - "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
3F02 - I am not a lean mean spitting machine
3F01 - No one wants to hear from my armpits
3F03 - The boys room is not a waterpark
3F05 - Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
3F08 - Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
3F07 - I will stop talking about the twelve-inch pianist
3F10 - I am not certified to remove asbestos

Season 8
3F23 - I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten
3G01 - The truth is not out there
4F08 - I am not licensed to do anything
3G03 - I will not hide the teacher's prozac
4F16 - A fire drill does not demand a fire

Season 9
3G02 - I no longer want my MTV
5F01 - Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story
5F03 - I did not invent Irish dancing
5F05 - I will not tease Fatty
5F06 - There was no Roman God named "Fartacus"
5F07 - Rudolph's red-nose was not alcohol-related
5F23 - Shooting paintballs is not an art form
5F10 - Pain is not the cleanser
5F12 - Silly string is not a nasal spray
5F13 - I was not told to do this
3G04 - My butt does not deserve its own web site
5F14 - I will not demand what I'm worth
5F17 - I am not the new Dalai Lama
5F18 - I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"

Season 10
5F21 - I will not file frivolous lawsuits
5F19 - Butt.Butt is not my E-mail address
AABF02 - No one cares what my definition of "is" is
AABF03 - I will not scream for ice cream
AABF04 - I am not a licensed hairstylist
AABF05 - "The president did it" is not an excuse
AABF06 - My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld
AABF07 - Sherri does not "got back"
AABF08 - I will not do the dirty bird
AABF09 - No one wants to hear about my sciatica
AABF11 - Hillbillies are people too
AABF10 - Grammar is not a time of waste
AABF12 - I do not have diplomatic immunity
AABF13 - It does not suck to be you
AABF14 - I cannot absolve sins
AABF15 - A trained ape could not teach gym
AABF16 - Loose teeth don't need my help
AABF17 - I have neither been there nor done that
AABF18 - No one wants to hear from my armpits
AABF20 - I'm so very tired

Season 11
AABF23 - Fridays are not "pants optional"
AABF22 - Pork is not a verb
AABF21 - I am not the last Don
AABF19 - I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize
BABF02 - I won't not use no double negatives
BABF03 - Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
BABF05 - I can't see dead people
BABF07 - I will not sell my kidney on eBay
BABF04 - I will not create art from dung
BABF06 - I will stop phoning it in
BABF08 - Class clown is not a paid position
BABF09 - Substitute teachers are not scabs
BABF10 - My suspension was not "mutual"
BABF11 - A belch is not an oral report
BABF12 - Dodgeball stops at the gum door
BABF13 - "Non-flammable" is not a challenge
BABF14 - I was not touched "there" by an angel
BABF16 - I am not here on a fartball scholarshop
BABF15 - I will not dance on anyone's grave
BABF18 - I cannot hire a subsitute student
BABF19 - I will not obey the voices in my head

Season 12
BABF20 - I will not plant subliminAL messaGOREs
BABF17 - I will not surprise the incontinent
CABF01 - I am not the acting President
CABF04 - I was not the sixth Beatle
CABF02 - I will only provide a urine sample when asked
CABF03 - The nurse is not dealing
CABF06 - Science class should not end in tragedy
BABF22 - Network TV is not dead
CABF05 - I will not "let the dogs out"
CABF08 - I will not hide the teacher's medication
CABF07 - I will not publish the Principal's credit report
CABF10 - The hamster did not have "a full life"
CABF12 - I will not buy a Presidential pardon
CABF09 - "Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap
CABF11 - I will not scare the Vice President
CABF13 - I will not flush evidence
CABF14 - Fire is not the cleanser
CABF15 - Genetics is not an excuse
CABF16 - Today is not Mothra's day
CABF17 - I should not be twenty-one by now










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